The irony of Motherhood

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A Journey together… (Mother and Child)

Sharing with you once again my artwork inspired by my “Mother and Child “series. This one is done in 36 x 48 cm, watercolor paper, in artist grade inks and paints. If you’re interested for purchase, just drop me an email at justbluedutch@gmail.com.

The Irony of Motherhood

To be honest, I’m just winging it. Life, motherhood, and my paints. Everything.

Here in Germany along with many parts of the world, this coming Sunday ( May 14) is  Mother’s Day (or Muttertag) is being celebrated. This would be my 2nd time to celebrate this day as a mother and I feel honored to experience this. While motherhood is a 24/7 lifestyle, I just thought that maybe I reflect on some of the Irony of my own life.Have a read if you have time, and if you agree, you can leave some comments !

Ok, so why am I always cleaning? I need to finish this post within half an hour  or else it will be stuck in my 100+ drafts…maybe forgotten soon, because I still  need to clean up the mess, pick up toys,etc., seems like nothing stays clean as usual.

Did I mention before that when I say No, NO! Nein! It’s sure she understands YES, Oh yes Mama! And there she goes…

Before, staying up until 2AM is peanuts.I can still go to work at 7 am and still  feeling good. Now, I am utterly exhausted every time. All the time. Hitting the bed at 9PM is a luxury. Sometimes I think I should consult a doctor why this back pain never goes away! Now I understand what ‘different kind of tiredness” mothers have…can you relate?

I spent countless times searching  and creating  healthy toddler dishes. I go crazy looking for Chia seeds and that elusive Kale in the fresh markets, but my child only knows, Hagelslag, Spring rolls, blueberries, and bread.  Anything foreign looking food especially ‘green ones ‘ will be seen on the floor .

Sleep? What is it? how does it feel to sleep for a straight  8- hours? I totally forgot. Maybe because I am too sleepy… yes even now, yawns *

I don’t know about you but half an hour spent in a grocery shop seems like a lifetime. I can’t wait to be in the check-out counter especially when there is a raging storm of a whining, screaming kid trying to create a havoc in the line to the cashier.Thank God there’s gummy bears!

My two-year old still lives in diaper and onesies, but why is it that I have tons of laundry to do everyday? Laundry seems like an endless chore!

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Motherhood : A journey together

Pre-baby, I only know Mickey mouse . Now, I have never known so much nursery rhymes, cartoon characters and lullabies, after I had a child where I need to sing the whole playlist before bedtime.Everyday.On demand.

Can somebody please give me the formula of how to put your child to bed in 5 minutes?Do you think 2 hours is normal?

My favorite cardio-exercise : Running after my child in the playground and push the stroller.

I spent hours to choose cute outfits for my daughter but the moment she runs into the park, she rolls over in the sand, gravel and grass as if she is adoring mother earth!

Babies are often called bundles of joy. They are, in fact, bundles of screaming diarrhea, or a gooey  goo, a puke, or  pee. I can even smell it from a distance!

Motherhood is a whole lot of ‘fun’ than you think. It is more than cuddles and cuteness overload. It’s a whole Lotta ‘Hardwork’as well!

Why is it that she keeps on uttering “Oh no… Oh no…” she has her own way of getting what she wants.Terrible two’s…

Anyways, what is the common thing that painting and babies have in common?

They are both messy.

They are both hard to handle.

They are both time-consuming and energy-zapping.

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But then, just like any masterpiece, being a mother involves  real, hard , long hours of labor.There is no such thing as instant work -of-art. Motherhood is like a vicious artwork. Creativity comes with pain, ironic and delusional ideas.

But the moment your kid comes to you and in a tiny, squeaking voice says “Mama, hug you… ( she means she wants to hug me ) and tries to squeeze herself into my arms…I just wanna freeze the time.

She have this look on her face that I can’t handle. She can be so sweet, yet so annoying.

What else can you say?  or do?

I can’t explain what I am feeling when I am hearing her voice. It is just pure bliss. This time, no kidding, but these ironic blues turns into an artful moments.Sort of.

 Disclaimer : If you don’t have kids, single and have never had a child in your whole life, let alone never stayed up all night when your child is sick then you might find this post  totally unrelatable…I was once this type of person. I look in dismay once I see a mother with crying and screaming kids,  thinking “how can she not control her kid?” How could she?

Now I know how must she have felt. Now I know and just smiled…I wanted to give her a hug and say “I feel you”…

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Happy Mother’s Day ! (Aquarelle painting //justbluedutchArt)

I guess, you can never know the feeling of a mother, either being a stay-at-home parent or a full-time working Mom, not unless you become one. That’s the irony.

To all the sweet Mamas out there, here’s a cheer for you: You are remarkable!

 

 

Flower Art therapy

 

 

 

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My First attempt to do some Flower Art Theraphy
Who doesn’t love flowers? I’m sure most of you does, just like I am.Flowers and Art can go very well together! I admit I can go crazy over a simple bouquet of spring flowers! The allure of Spring is so into me that I think I cannot get over with my recent Tulip coma and bicycling over and over again through the Rapeseed fields! Everytime I visit the Fresh market, I can’t resist getting some new blooms to add to our little garden as well.

When I check my feed, I always see posts about flowers, and different images of nature. There has never been a day that I don’t see photos of nature, especially now that Spring season is in full bloom. For me, there’s no such thing as too much flowers, or “ green nature overload “.  Every single one of it  has its own enigma.

If you are following me in this Blog then you must know that I love painting. The other day, I have tried experimenting  doing some water-color Flower Art. I admit that I’m not very good in making flower patterns , let alone sculpting the petals and leaves.  I guess my curiosity is the one that drives me to create something and I personally want to immerse myself in some kind of flower art therapy.

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What is Flower Art therapy?

“Art therapy is an incredibly basic, yet effective way to calm your emotions and thoughts.”

Just start drawing and painting. There are certain types of art therapy that can address certain feelings and needs. Give them a try!

When you’re tired, draw flowers. Drawing flowers helps re-energize your mind and clear brain fog.

Some people loves Adult Colouring, some are into gardening. Some just collect and design bouquets! You can even visit the garden houses and flower shops nearby your area to get some inspiration.I opt to do the watercolor fun part.

Combined with some rugged lettering, I experiment making some more flower art.This time, I tried making some floral patterns into cards. Now that Mother’s Day is coming up, I created some free patterns. I’m telling you, it can be addicting, at the same time, it helps me to learn some basic flower art styles.

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Want some ideas about what to give to your dear friends & family this Mother’s Day? Try doing some Watercolor Flower Art!
Here are some of the sample of cards that I’ve made by using flower art. What do you think of them?

If you have a paint, ink or a simple watercolor palette, you might want to try it for yourself. Who knows, it could turn out to be a hobby. I used some watercolor paper and cut them into the sizes that I desired. If you don’t have an artist’s grade paper, it doesn’t matter, but if you wanted to create a card that you wanted to give away to your friends and family, you can consider getting a good quality so it won’t warp or cringe once you painted on it.

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Creative Flower Art cards

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My framed Flower art 
You can make a simple ornament out of your creative flower Art.If you need some inspiration, try browsing some samples in Pinterest or this great piece for example.

If you have the materials then it’s so easy and fun to do. The options are limitless, you can create as many flowers as long as you want in any media that you use.Try it with colored pencils, pastels, acrylic, or even a simple ink pens.

You can create a single wreath, or just a frame full of spring flowers! The photo above is the first one I’ve made and I put it into the white frame and I love the way it creates a ‘Spring feel‘ inside our home!

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Are you looking for a DIY ( Do it Yourself) creative project which you can share with your kids or just for an outlet of your creative self? Why don’t you try doing some watercolor Flower Art therapy and you won’t regret it!

This projects is one of my Spring Bucket List, to create something inspired by Spring! Remember, anything personalised and hand-made is always special, so if you have the time, give it a go!

What’s in your Spring Bucket List?

 

If you like this post, make sure to check out my Instagram to see some of my Artwork!

 

 

 

For someone we called ” Mother”

Motherhood : All love begins and ends there….

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I long for my mother's bread,
My Mother's coffee
Her touch
Childhood memories grow up in me
Day after day
I must be worth in my life...
A One and Only Mother
Hundreds of stars in the pretty sky,
Hundreds of shells on the shore together,
Hundreds of birds that go singing by,
Hundreds of lambs in the sunny weather.
Hundreds of dewdrops to greet the dawn,
Hundreds of bees in the purple clover,
Hundreds of butterflies on the lawn,
But only one mother the world-wide over... 

This is excerpt from Mahmoud Darwish in his  1964 panegyric to his mother, A Palestinian poet and a short poem that I can accentuate how I view Motherhood ever since I become a mother.

It’s Mother’s day this month and it’s just timely that we look back with thanksgiving & gratitude from whence we came.There is so much poetry about Motherhood but it cannot really immortalize the actual feeling you have when you become one yourself. I wouldn’t even knew the deep essence of Mothers Day before, but now that I become a mother, I understand and have great respect for all Mothers around the world.

When I was about to give birth to my daughter  Natalie, I was in the hospital for almost 3 days being induced for labor. Now for someone who doesn’t know what Induction of Labor   means, it is literally the process of forcing you to go on labor through various medical interventions. I tell you, It’s  nerve-wrecking, exhausting, pain-filled time  of my life and yet it was also the most wonderful time knowing I would finally meet my child. I could recall all the time I just lie down in pain between contractions and  I thought a lot about my Mother. I was alone there and all I could think of is wishing She was just beside me.She gave birth for 6 humans, all natural at home and without any medical interventions.How on earth did she do that?

Are mothers superheroes in disguise?

She is one amazing, strong, resilient person that I ever known in my life. For the past year, I have found out so many surprises in Motherhood that I asked myself; Why did no one ever told me about this? let alone my own Mother?

Here’s some surprises to name a few :

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Before I was a Mother –
Definition of “Real Sleep “. I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got into bed. I lounge in the bed during weekends until my back aches from sleeping and oftentimes I would dozed off & had naps in the afternoon after watching some movies. Since I gave birth to Natalie, If there’s anything that I really missed, it is : Sleep.

I thought I knew what “Tired “meant before I had a baby. I once heard my mother said her back hurts..now I see myself uttering these words to my husband.Now I knew why.

Before I was a Mother –

I would see babies as cute, cuddly, but bothersome. Why are they  crying so loud? and makes so many messes. I would never know ( or want to know) as much about another human being’s poop and pee schedule as I did in those early years.It becomes an obsession in checking too much, too little, and loads of graphic considerations that I wouldn’t dream of discussing in public now.It is a clichè ,but true that many of the baby “essentials” that magazines & celebrities promotes for new Mums are just bunch of waste of money! The walker? Only after 2 weeks of use, she was already climbing out and she is dangling when I saw her. A total waste.

Before I was a Mother –
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn’t want to put it down. I never felt my heart-break into a million pieces when I couldn’t stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love being a Mother. How many times I just lie beside my daughter and just kissed her. Many times. When she sleeps, I found myself randomly poking her just to check if she was breathing–Insane but true. My mother never told me about this,but I am sure, She did the same.

Before I was a Mother –
I didn’t know the feeling of having my heart outside my body. I didn’t know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn’t know that bond between a mother and her child. I didn’t know that something so small could make me feel so important.The love & hate relationship that Me & my daughter have when she is soooo clingy. She literally live in between my legs.She likes it there, dangling, swinging around wherever I go. The space between my skinny legs fits perfectly with her small cuddly frame.

Before I was a Mother –
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache,the physical pain & numb arms. The wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn’t know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mother. Why on earth my mother never told me about her struggles raising 6 children, without maid, without any hired help, even without an iPad to entertain the crazy toddlers?

Before I was a Mother –
I had never been puked on – Pooped on – Spit on – Chewed on, or Peed on. I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. I slept all night.How did I managed to not bother about make up & fancy clothes when you have a baby pulling out your sleeves? I have gone out with a pants with cookie stains and I don’t see any problem with that. I don’t even wanna wear white right now because I know there will be shoeprints there within seconds, and bling- bling? I can’t afford for a necklace & dangling earrings to be pulled out painless!  I could spent countless hours in a mall but I was too busy buying baby stuff and little clothes.This is the new retail therapy for me. My mother would absolutely agree.
Before I was a Mother –
I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests…or give the vaccination shots. I was there in every appointment & Doctor’s visits. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.Motherhood have taught me to become prepared to go to very strange and random lengths just to appease my crying child. Did I mentioned that I broke my iPhone screen 3 times already just to get into that Bob the Train nursery rhymes the minute she start to squirm?

Before I was a Mother I had no idea that Motherhood would be the hardest , the most tiring,the most rewarding, the most precious gift in my life.Now I knew why my Mother never told me these surprises..She wanted me to discover & experience these all by myself. All through out this journey, I got to know more of her, I got to know her “world “when the time that I never fully understand her. I got to know her completely, more than I could ever write about her.And guess what, even if I had known early all of the above,I wouldn’t swap a second of it for anything in the world!

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The first years really go fast. Before I knew it, she climbs up into the table by herself within seconds, throws all her toys with one hand in seconds.Before I knew it, it will be her first day in school.These fleeting moments can never be replaced.Remember the first tooth, the first step, the first time you can have her hair into ponytail? The time she said “Mama”…They are truly precious.

For someone we called “Mothers” …They are precious.

 

How does this post made you feel? Do you feel special that you are a mother?

When was the last time you called your mother just to say Hello?

I want to wish a Happy Special Mothers Day to all my lovely, strong mothers & women that I knew. Great respect to all of you. X

 

Sacrifice