I was in decluttering mode this week.Time to tidy up so many things.I am sorting old clothes from my daughter´s closet & mine and little did I know, I was walking into memory lane and pick up an invisible time capsule.A time I always wanted to get back to…sort of, but more on revisiting what those moments in the past made me feel. My daughter turned 11 last month.It´s a celebration of a new beginning of being so called “Teen” or Großes Kind (Big Kid) and Adieu to “klein Kind” (small child ) phase of her life.Time flies and I wonder where did all that time go.I used to write a lot about her in my Blog a lot, especially when our little family migrated here in Germany last 10 years ago,when she crawled to her early toddler years in our backyard garden and rode her first bike ride without support.It was a tough start, no German, no friends, new neighbourhood, no childcare and Kindergarten, the “no´s” list is quite long enough to start with.I often wondered how others made it so I´ve decided to write about it and make a series in my Blog about Expat Mamas and Papas around the world.

I´ve asked or interviewed different parents living as an expat in another country to see and know how are they coping with the new culture, lifestyle changes and yes–new language.Even encountering culture shocks became a normal daily battle.It was a great time knowing each one of them.Lovely times.I kinda missed talking with them…time have also changed so much in WP Blogsphere, many were gone and I´ve lost contact with most of them.Or is it because we´ve all moved on, chosen different priorities in life or just lost the energy to write?Well nowadays people prefer to see Vlogs , and the younger Gen-X prefer to be indulged online instead of burying their heads in books or reading worthwhile Blogs.

I realized that we have actually the same struggles, only that we have different approach on how to deal with them.I wondered as well how are they doing nowadays–the kids have grown big, way more independent and life changed eventually for most of us.I became a German citizen now afterall, and I´ve felt that I´m living in Germany long enough,I felt at home here already, ages ago it was different–well at least everytime I went out, I often bumped into someone that I knew.Small world…and small talk as they say.

I felt somewhat dazed, watching how my kid have evolved into another human being that I cannot almost recognized.What have she eaten? Where did all that pre-teen curves coming from?Or how is is that is she is almost as tall as me and talked back at me as if I am the crazy Asassin from an anime movie. Sometimes I wonder what on earth happened that she likes to shop now for lip glosses, Sol de Janeiro colognes and crazy overpriced Plushie pillows!

Where is my little girl?, the little one who waits in the door to be opened, sucking that facifier ,looking so helpless,carrying all that diaper bulk from her rowdy sleep,waiting to be cleaned and have a hold of her milk.Totally dependent on me.

Now I feel totally old.She grew up.

On her last birthday she decided to have an overnight pajama party in a hotel with her friends.It was fancy for them, not the typical birthday celebration of her peers.But actually it´s just the same as her countless overnight meeting at a friends house, staying up to 3am, snacking on Gummy bears and popcorn.They lighted up the whole room with their disco lights, tumbling and doing acrobatics in the bed, endless giggling and talking about their first class overnight trip where the boys made such a noise and how they ended up being punished.So much stories, so much curiosity.And then I thought about my own childhood where I used to walk through the ricefields when going to school, wearing flipflops, playing chinese garters after school and drawing with my 10 Crayola crayons-a dearly beloved possession during those times, and drawing at night under a lamp until my nose becomes dark with soot.

Going back to her,she tells that they went out in the middle of the night, sneaked out from their hotel room and just jump around in the terrace, trying to pick out the fallen gummy Apfelringe that fell on the ground.Her eyes wide with excitement.Now that made me think what will she do next?Then at home, we set up the camping tent in the garden and she slept there outside, again with her disco lamp and giggled the whole night away.Ordered pop corn of course!

My neighbour had a small boy aged 4.He cannot speak a single German word and since he attended his Kindergarten this year, he changed.I looked at her mom who busied herself around him, making daily playground rounds for him to play, barely having 2 hours of time for herself to rest when he´s in the daycare.I thought, oh those times.Slow, boring, tiring, but meaningful times.I wonder what are her thoughts when pushing that stroller and cycling with her kid at the back of the bicycle?Penny for her thoughts…

She loves to do her stunt every single time, anywhere, anytime that gaves me chills , afraid that she break her bone once she tumble.She has this super elastic body that she can do yoga poses in no time.What a shame since I have been trying on these poses quite a long time now and haven´t got a hold of it.She rolls her body and do that sommersault without a care in the world.I was with my hair dresser the other day ago and her daughter was doing the exact thing that my daughter is doing.Tumbling here and there.Splits and backflipping are the new trend that makes these girls alive.What happened to these young generation?

She has no problems wearing my old clothes that I gave to her.She fits perfectly on it.She wants to run a marathon someday, and in her age, she already made running races each year.How many marathon would she be doing in her lifetime?I asked her one time about her Bucket List.Her bucket list includes Hawaii so I don´t have a problem with that.

She said that she wanted to have my bike and ditch her own since she is now a big girl.Okay…now its time for me to save up for an E-bike.I sighed and murmured; the joys of raising my pre teen girl.

Until then, Tschüß!